Paint It Rewrite: The Underdogs
by McVitie
Summary: The Pictonians are invading, and Romano is pretty sure that the Allies and Axis are going to make a royal mess of it. The authors thought that Paint It White could've been a much better movie and so they took it upon themselves to rewrite it, starring the more minor characters. Rated T for Romano's mouth, but there's nothing worse than that in here. Collaboration with KokoLolo!


Sealand's legs swung back and forth as he watched the night sky from his comfy spot at the edge of his small nation. To Sealand, the stars were there to comfort him whenever he felt lonely, for no one has truly accepted him as a country. He had grown the habit of visiting his bright friends nightly and admire their beauty.  
A flock of birds suddenly erupted from nowhere, causing Sealand to jump. They had appeared out of nowhere! He looked around for the source of the bird's fright, perplexed, when he saw a strange, green glow on the horizon. It grew and grew, threads of yellow and blue light mixed in it, followed by a huge, white... space ship?  
He scrambled to his feet, his blue eyes fixed on the oncoming unidentified flying object. He raced over to his home, flung open the door then grabbed his binoculars. The boy knew that those would come in handy someday! He sprinted back outside and squinted through the binoculars.

Even with the aid of the binoculars he still couldn't make out any windows, doors, people, or anything really. He couldn't even tell where the light was coming from! It was like something out of one of England's sci-fi shows.

At the thought of England, Sealand was suddenly struck by an idea. He had seen the ship first, so maybe if he told all the "proper" nations about it, then they'd accept him as one of them! Sealand dashed back inside, sending an email to out to all the nations he had on his contacts list.

"Dear everyone," the email read. "I've seen a space ship flying towards us! It's right over my country! Which is in fact, just off the coast of Essex!  
I think we should call a meeting! It would be useful to gather everyone's opinions on what we should do!"  
They'd probably ignore him but it didn't matter. Besides, if said spaceship were to attack, they can't blame him! He warned them after all! He glanced out one of his windows to see nearly a whole fleet heading in one direction now. Isn't Iceland in that direction? Sealand frowned, returning his attention to his computer to use Google.

A few hundred miles north-east of Sealand's fort, Iceland stared in bewilderment at the green and white floating things hurtling towards his island.  
"We hardly get tourists anymore around here." he said to himself. "Maybe they're tourists? Funny looking airplane, though." he muttered scowling. He turned to walk away, but there was a sudden green flash and a sort of... wobbling noise. Iceland looked down at his hands to discover that they were more of white nubs than actual hands.  
"Mother fucker."  
Mr. Puffin squawked in shock and yelled out, "Hey Ice! What the hell is going on with your hands?!"

Iceland admittedly had no idea, but he figured he needed to send Mr. Puffin out to warn everyone before it was too late. He swiftly turned around in time to see an army of white creatures that best could be described as the Pillsbury dough boy (though somewhat lacking in facial features). Mr. Puffin flapped his wings as he jumped into the air, "Ice! It's spreading all over ya!"

"Well don't just stand there!" Iceland cried. "Go get help! Tell the others that there are weird ships and that they're not friendly! Quickly!" he yelled. Mr Puffin gave a squawk of confirmation and took off south, in the general direction of Scotland. Iceland watched the bird fly off then looked back down at his entirely blank body. The strange substance was now climbing up his neck. From the distance, he could hear a girl asking why this had to happen. It was for the good of the plot.

* * *

A few hours later, the word had gotten round to all the nations courtesy of Mr Puffin, and they were all piling into a conference room in France. The grumpy host pushed them inside, and just as he was about to lock the door America showed up in his pyjamas with a cup of Starbucks.

"You're fifteen minutes late!" Germany called out angrily. America shrugged.  
"So?"  
"You're wearing striped pyjamas and "cologne" from McShit-for-Food!" Romano yelled. "That's not proper clothing, asshole!"  
"I don't see the big deal." America shrugged, making his way to the front of the room where many computer screens were set up to view streets of the many nations. He swiped a folder off the table and flipped it open to view its contents, "Now let's get this shit on the road." He adjusted his glasses, skimming the file before slapping it onto the desk, "Alright my dudes! There are aliens attacking Earth for no reason! And they're not like my best friend Tony! They're all white and turning everybody else that color, 'cause they're probably racist or something!" he shouted, with far too much enthusiasm. There was a beat of silence among the nations, then a few groans.

"I think I just lost a few brain cells listening to that." England stated with a yawn. "Can we please have a real plan? It's midnight in Europe and in case you haven't noticed there is a time difference. Though perhaps the reason I'm falling asleep is because your speeches are so hideously dull and- mph!"  
"That's enough sass from you, Mister!" France said with a grin, clamping his hand over England's mouth. "Does anyone know what they - stop biting me, rosbif - what they are?" France asked.  
"Huh... I don't really know. Hold on, lemme check the file." America glanced down at the file on the desk, searching for a name. "Uh... Pictonians?"  
Japan awkwardly raised his hand, "Excuse me, but the aliens seem to be like Noppera."  
Every head snapped in Japan's direction.  
"Um, ok, but what exactly is a... noppera?" France asked, confused. He was also having a hard time deciphering Japan's accent.  
"They are faceless white beings from old Japanese mythology. They are known to frighten people, but they are harmless. I always thought they didn't exist." Japan explained.  
"So this whole mess is Japan's fault!" America cried, leaping to his feet and flailing his limbs.  
"No, please! Er..." Japan stammered, but it was drowned out as bickering immediately broke out among literally everyone in the room with Japan trying to defend himself. It was getting so loud that even Germany's voice couldn't be heard over the angry shouting until the sound of a gun being fired quietened everyone down at once. Switzerland kept his gun out as he grumbled, "That's better."

"It's not me, I swear!" Japan finally said after a moment of silence.  
"Ok then," England said. "So who do we blame?"  
Romano smacked a palm to his forehead, "Nobody, you stupid sack of shit! They come from outer space!" he yelled. "Is your head that full of rainwater?" England glared at him angrily.  
"Well if they're so much like Japan's myths then surely they've got something to do with him!" someone else called out.  
"You're all idiots, oh my god," Romano sighed, resting his forehead on the table. Germany stood up, ignoring Romano.  
"Stop your ridiculous bickering!" he roared. "This is a meeting! I'm literally going to give you five seconds to shut your mouths until I walk out and leave you on your own for good!" he yelled, spittle spraying over his paperwork. Romano thunked his head against the desk.  
"I'm surrounded by retards." He groaned.

Italy gave his brother a pat on the back, "It's alright, Romano! Germany is smart and will figure something out."

Romano lifted his head to shoot Italy a menacing glare, "That potato loving bastard wouldn't know shit."  
Italy frowned, wailing, "Romano! Be nice to Germany! He-"  
"If none of you have anything productive to say then I suggest you get out." Switzerland announced, making sure everyone heard his voice and saw his rifle.  
It took less than fifteen seconds for Romano to pack his things up. He was halfway to the door when Germany called him back.  
"We need to sort out a plan! Nobody can leave yet." he said.  
"Actually no, you don't need all of us. Besides there are far too many of us and everyone's fighting and it's stupid!" Romano grumbled. "Besides, you only need Veneziano, that ditz takes all the credit for everyth-"  
"Fair point," England said, cutting off Romano's complaints. "We only really need eight of us." he said.  
"I recommend you choose me, the hero! Plus those Axis Power guys, Russia, China and I guess France too." America called.  
"Ok then. The rest of you are dismissed." Germany said with an air of finality.  
Romano rolled his eyes at the German. He never could stand that man! The often forgotten personification of South Italy made his way down the hallway; from his left he heard Switzerland cursing out the Big 8 for kicking everyone out of the meeting room. Liechtenstein was often agreeing with what the Swiss would say.

To his right, there were the Nordics and Sealand. The British boy was giving them more information on the space ship, information that they should've listened to. Sealand crossed his arms smugly, "I told you so! And now Ice is gone, because nobody listened."  
Norway's eyes darted down to the youth, "We know. It sucks."  
"I miss him," Sealand said. "Iceland is fun." he mumbled, sniffing a little. Norway gave him a pat on the back. "Don't worry, he'll be okay."

Soon Switzerland and Liechtenstein were beginning to head towards him; Romano was slightly confused - why was this lot gathering here?  
"They're going to fail spectacularly aren't they brother?" Liechtenstein said. Switzerland nodded, unloading his rifle and sliding it back into it's sheath.  
"What do you need?" Romano asked, masking his anger so that he was at least being polite towards Liechtenstein. If it were just Switzerland, that would be an entirely different story.  
Switzerland looked away stubbornly, "Liechtenstein... thinks that we should hold our own meeting later if those idiots fail."  
"Yeah?"  
"We aren't really sure when, but as soon as we know that the others fail, we need to step up." Liechtenstein replied for her brother who still looked reluctant on doing another meeting.  
"I think that's a pretty good ide-AAAH!" Romano yelled as an incredibly large object barreled towards them and collided with his side. Romano swore loudly and leaped back up, preparing to give this idiot the shin kicking of a life time, when the tangled mess of limbs unraveled itself into two distinct people; Prussia and Hungary. Romano surveyed the two of them, debating whether or not to cuss them out, when he noticed that Hungary's shirt had been very hastily done up. He gave a small smirk, "Been busy?"

"Shut it," Prussia said. "Yo Switz, what was that you were saying?"  
"You're an idiot"  
Prussia faked a pained expression as he set a hand over his chest, "That hurts, Switzi, that hurts." He kept a straight face for a mere five seconds before his usual smirk spread across his face. "Seriously, though."  
"We're holding a meeting when the others fail." Liechtenstein answered for Switzerland who didn't look all that talkative. He rather looked murderous.  
"Others meaning...?"  
"The Allies and Axis people." Romano shrugged then added under his breath, "Idiota."  
"I can't believe we're relying on those eight to come up with a plan." Hungary huffed, clear frustration showing through.

"Well, we're not going to!" Liechtenstein said. "Like Mr South Italy said, they're idiots, so they're going to mess up. So brother had the idea of coming up with our own plans!" she said. Hungary grinned, "Awesome!" she said, giving Liechtenstein a high five.  
"If we're going to come up with a plan we need a decent place to discuss it, and as much as I hate to admit it, Switzy has got the best place for it." Prussia said. "So we should all go to his house or something." he said with a grin.  
Switzerkand glared at Prussia. "As long as you lot don't wreck anything."  
"Fuck yeah!" he said with a fist pump. Romano scowled.  
"Ok then, let's just get out of this sh- I mean rubbish hole," he said, looking at Liechtenstein and coughing slightly. "We should leave before any more of these noppera idiotas turn us into white boring people." Romano said, heading towards the door. Prussia and Denmark followed close behind him and the others behind them.

Romano pushed open the double doors and stepped outside, only to leap back a few steps with a yelp of surprise. There, right in front of him, a huge white spaceship was descending, shooting balls of green light every which way possible. Everything the light touched turned into a wobbly white mess; the buildings looked almost melted. Worse, when the light hit the people panicking in the streets, they would turn into one of the noppera.  
The other nations joined Romano at the door and gasped as they saw the chaos outside. There were people screaming and strange sounds as people and buildings were painted white and wobbly. Romano stared at the scene outside and cracked his knuckles."I hope everyone is armed, because there's only one way to get to Switzerland," he said. His green-gold eyes glinted with the green light of the noboro outside as he spoke

"This shit is realer than Kraft mayonnaise."

* * *

**Lolo:** Sup everyone! KokoLolo here with the fantabulous Thoytsi!

**Thoytsi:** We were discussing the Hetalia movie one night and we decided that it could've been better, so we decided to rewrite it, starring Romano!

**Lolo:** The little bastard is adorable. Ilovehimsomuch. You'll get the official team next chapter of who is going to kick ass.

**Thoytsi:** See if you can guess who's in the team! Also, see if you can recognise any references I slipped in there without Lolo noticing, hah

**Lolo:** I recognised some stuff like I'm pretty sure you threw in a Hitchiker's reference...or something. I caught the Starbucks one...

**Thoytsi**: See even Lolo didn't get them all *evil cackle*  
But please, leave a review! This is going to be a multichapter story so if you like it, follow/favourite!

**Lolo:** Bleh, can't catch everything. And reviews are awesome, too! Thank you for reading!

_**Edit:** Fixed the spelling of noboro back to noppera :) Thanks to And I'm Javert for telling us which one is right!_


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